Mistakes Help Us Learn

Children are learning new things every day. They are learning how to read, write, play games, make friends, follow directions, solve problems, and understand the world around them.

And whenever children are learning something new, mistakes are going to happen.

That is exactly what Shirley discovers in Shirley’s Big Mistake.

Shirley joins a kickball game even though she has never played before. She wants to do well, but she does not completely understand the rules. When she makes a mistake, she feels embarrassed and worries about what the other children will think.

But Shirley learns something important:

Making a mistake does not mean you cannot do something. It means you are still learning how to do it.

That is a powerful message for children to hear again and again.

Why This Matters

Some children quickly become frustrated when they make a mistake.

They may say:

“I can’t do it.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“I don’t want to try.”

“Everybody else knows how.”

“I messed it up.”

When adults respond calmly and positively, children begin to understand that mistakes are a normal part of learning.

Instead of thinking:

“I made a mistake, so I failed.”

We can help children begin thinking:

“I made a mistake, so now I know something I didn’t know before.”

This shift helps build confidence, persistence, and a willingness to try again.

Talk About the Story

After reading Shirley’s Big Mistake, use a few of these questions to continue the conversation.

You do not need to ask every question. Choose the ones that feel natural for your child.

Before Shirley Played

• Had Shirley ever played kickball before?
• Why do you think Shirley decided to play anyway?
• How do you feel when you try something you have never done before?

When Shirley Made the Mistake

• What mistake did Shirley make?
• How do you think Shirley felt?
• Why do you think she felt embarrassed?
• Have you ever made a mistake while learning something new?

After the Mistake

• What did Shirley learn?
• Did making a mistake mean Shirley was bad at kickball?
• What could Shirley do differently the next time she plays?
• What would you say to Shirley if you were her friend?

Try Saying This

The words adults use after a mistake can shape the way children think about learning.

Instead of:

“You did it wrong.”

Try:

“Now you know something you didn’t know before.”

Instead of:

“Be careful. Don’t mess up.”

Try:

“Take your time and give it a try.”

Instead of:

“That’s easy.”

Try:

“You’re still learning how to do it.”

Instead of immediately fixing the problem, ask:

“What could you try next?”

These small changes help children see themselves as learners and problem-solvers.

Use the Book Queen Call-and-Response

Turn the message of the story into something your child can remember.

Adult: “Mistakes…”

Child: “HELP US LEARN!”

Use it when your child:

• spills something while trying to pour
• writes a letter backward
• misses a question
• struggles with a puzzle
• forgets a rule in a game
• builds something that falls down
• tries a new skill
• says, “I can’t do it”

You can simply smile and say:

“Mistakes…”

Then let your child respond:

“HELP US LEARN!”

Over time, the phrase can become a familiar reminder that mistakes are not something to fear.

Add the Word “Yet”

One small word can make a big difference.

When your child says:

“I can’t read that.”

Try:

“You can’t read it yet.”

“I don’t know how.”

“You don’t know how yet.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“You’re still learning how.”

The goal is not to convince children that everything is easy.

The goal is to help them understand that ability can grow with learning, practice, support, and time.

The Mistake Detective Game

The next time something does not work, become “Mistake Detectives.”

Ask three questions:

1. What happened?

Let your child explain the situation.

2. What did we learn?

Help your child identify new information.

3. What could we try next?

Encourage your child to think of another approach.

For example:

“My block tower fell.”

What happened?
“The bottom blocks moved.”

What did we learn?
“A taller tower needs a strong bottom.”

What could we try next?
“Use bigger blocks on the bottom.”

Now the mistake has become part of the learning process.

Share Your Own Mistakes

Children benefit from seeing adults make mistakes too.

You might say:

“I forgot where I put my keys. I’ll have to think about what I did last.”

“I tried this recipe and used too much water. Next time I’ll use less.”

“I took the wrong turn. Now I know which road not to take.”

When children see adults respond calmly to mistakes, they learn that mistakes do not have to become emergencies.

Mistakes can become information.

Celebrate Trying

Praise does not always have to focus on being correct.

Notice effort, persistence, thinking, and courage.

Try phrases such as:

“You kept trying even when that was hard.”

“You figured out another way.”

“You asked for help when you needed it.”

“You tried something new.”

“You noticed your mistake and fixed it.”

“You learned from what happened.”

“That didn’t work the first time, but you kept going.”

These comments help children connect success with learning instead of perfection.

A Family Question

At dinner, in the car, or before bedtime, ask:

“What is one mistake you made today that taught you something?”

Adults can answer too.

The conversation might be serious or silly.

What matters is helping children understand that everyone makes mistakes, and this includes grown-ups.

A Note for Parents

Helping children develop confidence does not mean telling them they are wonderful at everything.

Children also need honest guidance, instruction, correction, and opportunities to practice.

When a mistake happens, we can acknowledge it without turning the mistake into a judgment about the child.

There is an important difference between:

“That answer is not correct yet.”

and

“You’re not good at this.”

One describes a moment in learning.

The other can begin to shape how a child sees himself or herself.

Our goal is to help children develop a learning mindset:

I can listen.
I can learn.
I can practice.
I can ask for help.
I can try again.

Keep the Learning Going

After reading Shirley’s Big Mistake, watch for everyday opportunities to use Shirley’s lesson.

When something goes wrong, ask:

“What did this mistake teach us?”

When your child wants to quit, ask:

“What could you try next?”

And when frustration begins to take over, remember the Book Queen message:

MISTAKES… HELP US LEARN!

About Cheryl Worsham

Cheryl Worsham is an experienced literacy and language educator with more than 30 years of teaching experience. She helps parents build children’s vocabulary, confidence, communication, and joyful literacy through playful learning.

Her books and literacy resources are designed to help families turn everyday reading into meaningful conversations that continue long after the book is closed.

Continue the Learning

Play and Practice

Visit TappyWheel.com for playful learning activities that help children practice important ideas through interaction and repetition.

More Parent Resources

Explore SpinThatList.com for conversation prompts, literacy activities, learning ideas, and practical ways to extend your child’s learning at home.

Read together. Talk together. Learn together.

And remember:

MISTAKES… HELP US LEARN!